An Ideal Wife

On January 14, Harvard University President Lawrence H. Summers made a simple statement that caused a big uproar. In fact, it had the National Organization of Women calling for him to step down.

All he did was refer to innate differences in the sexes. And hinted that maybe that was why more men than women excel in science and math.

In today's society, it's called sexist. But in days of yesteryear, it would have been considered common knowledge.

My brother was recently cast as Mason the Butler in Patrick Henry College's dramatic production of Oscar Wilde's "An Ideal Husband." (Incidentally, the Butler is really the Ideal Husband, according to Will.) We watched the 1999 movie to get an idea of the classic play from 1895, but I wouldn't recommend the movie unless you are well prepared with reviews and have your finger on the Fast Forward button. My favorite line from the movie is when Sir Robert Chiltern, with an adoring look at his wife, states, "If you are suggesting, Sir Edward, that my position in society owes anything to my wife, you are utterly mistaken. It owes everything to my wife." And of course, my dad's favorite line is Lord Goring's quip, "My dear father, if we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it."

But what I found interesting was Oscar Wilde's perception of the sexes. It lines right up with the Harvard University President's "chauvinistic" statements:

Lord Goring says to Lady Chiltern, "You love Robert. Do you want to kill his love for you? What sort of existence will he have if you rob him of the fruits of his ambition, if you take him from the splendour of a great political career, if you close the doors of public life against him, if you condemn him to sterile failure, he who was made for triumph and success? Women are not meant to judge us, but to forgive us when we need forgiveness. Pardon, not punishment, is their mission. Why should you scourge him with rods for a sin done in his youth, before he knew you, before he knew himself? A man's life is of more value than a woman's. It has larger issues, wider scope, greater ambitions. A woman's life revolves in curves of emotions. It is upon lines of intellect that a man's life progresses. Don't make any terrible mistake, Lady Chiltern. A woman who can keep a man's love, and love him in return, has done all the world wants of women, or should want of them."

I don't pretend to agree with all of that. And yet, maybe Oscar Wilde and Lawrence H. Summers have captured the essence of an ideal wife. For if women were to accomplish nothing else, if wives only would endeavor to keep the love of their man, loving and respecting him in return, the world would be a much better place.

As Lord Goring says, "All I do know is that it takes great courage to see the world in all its tainted glory and still to love it. And even more courage to see it in the one you love. Dear Gertrude, you have more courage then any woman I know. Do not be afraid to use it."

Movie Script
The Original Play by Oscard Wilde