“DadadadaDA!!”
This is the happy squeal greeting my husband nearly every day when he walks through our front door. When Daddy comes home, either in the evening or on his lunch break, as long as Troy (now 15 months) isn’t napping, the little guy is eagerly heading for the door the minute he realizes it’s about to open. Its celebration time around here! Big hugs for the baby, kisses for Mommy…even our Australian Shepherd gets in on the action, barking happily, her tail wagging, while she does her best to sit at wait for a pat on the head, instead of jumping all over the daddy of our house.
It doesn’t take much to see that John is loved here. If one were to ask him, he’d look at his little family of three (soon to be four!) with his signature “sappy-lovey-dovey” look and tell you that yep, his family loves him. We feel the same way.
Making sure John feels like a king in our home is something I’m constantly working to improve. I won’t pretend and tell you that I always act like the gentle loving wife I’d like to be, or that I don’t sometimes question his decisions or think he says the wrong thing. But I’m asking the Lord, daily, to help me show John more and more that he is the man, that I will follow him wherever the Lord leads, and that there is nobody on this earth more important to me than my husband.
I’ve found that for me, it is very easy to let the opinions of others, my desire for “all things perfect”, or for the praise of man, or even good things, like wanting to pour myself into motherhood or wanting to serve the Lord in various outside forms of ministry, to slip in and begin to separate me from my husband. Within a very short time of focusing on one of these, I’m doubting his wisdom in a matter, or sighing to myself when he says something I don’t agree with, or just beginning to have an attitude of frustration with him in general.
To those of you who are unmarried, it may seem an utter failure for a wife to ever feel this way, but remember, Prince Charming won’t always be perfectly charming, and I’m sure we know ourselves well enough to realize the same is true about us!
Before I was married, I tucked a little article away in my hope chest, to be found when I opened it in my new home. I remember now the day I found it again. John and I were making our first house a home and were unpacking wedding gifts as well as our own personal belongings. I had unloaded the knick knacks, the linens, the small set of pots, the knit dishcloths… and then I found these few pieces of paper
to be continued....
- by Ashleigh
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5 comments:
Ashleigh, thank you for your very open and honest writing today. I don't want to be critical and I say this lovingly, but this website gives the impression of an overly perfect, unrealistic picture of happy married life which is sometimes very hard for those of us who are unmarried to cope with. You obviously love your husband very, very much and your honesty is very refreshing.
Thank you, Ashleigh--this blessed me very much. I haven't ever felt it from YLCF, but from my married friends. Just the painted picture that everything is perfect after marriage: you struggle no more and everything is roses and bluebirds. But that fact didn't hurt--of course I'd be happy for my friends if it were so. It's hurts because I know it's not so, yet people want to personify that. So it was so refeshing to read your honesty, and your personification that we still "strive" for something even after the bliss of marriage!
--Jen, an unmarried reader
Aw, I like the t-shirt. Cute. :)
Thank you, Asleigh! It's sobering to hear such words and helpful to get prepared theoretically. Congratulations on your little one! Debbie
In regards to the first commenter: From my perspective our society often times looks down on marriage as a curse to the woman and her rights. I think its absolutely refreshing to hear that theres hope for a happy marriage--not a perfect marriage--but a happy marriage. I don't mind hearing of the "happy married life" and the things one learns. We will discover the challenges soon enough. Sure we need to be aware, but with our eyes fixed on Christ and His beauty and His wonderful purpose for marriage. Thanks for your oh so balanced writing Ashleigh. Thanks for making us aware.
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