Living a Life of Desperation - Part Two: Repentance

Part one of this series was published back in September. You can see it here. Watch for the concluding installment next week!

It’s been said that God’s Word is like a mirror to our souls- it shows us who we are, and who we need to become. The reflection that stares back at us from that mirror shows all the short comings and areas of ungodliness that hides deep in the corners of our souls. When you submerge yourself in the Bible, all the sins in your heart seem to bubble up to the surface like air pockets rising from a sinking rock.

It has been that way in my own heart, and those sins have come up by the hand full. The very sins I scorned others for having have been revealed by the light of God, and I have been left standing wondering how I can deal with my unworthiness.

My heart has been sorrowful for its sins over and over again through the years I’ve known Christ- yet now that I started the true ‘race’ towards Christ, I find that remorse is not enough. Ridding ones heart of sin is like weeding a garden- simply pulling the weeds out isn’t enough. You have to kill the roots in order to maintain a healthy harvest. As I’m sure many of you have experienced, simply saying your “sorry” for your sins makes you feel temporarily better, but in the long run those sins come springing back. Its only when you dive into Gods Holy Word and stare into the ‘mirror’ of truth, that desire for true repentance comes.

In walks desperation.

It’s so easy to allow your heart to become complacent. In complacence, we often allow sin to enter our hearts without even noticing it. When left untended to- just like weeds in a garden- those sins take over our hearts, and we lose our ability to feel the prodding of Gods Spirit. Without being able to feel the Holy Spirit’s conviction we enter into a hardened, bitter state.

When the darkness of sin is revealed by the light of the Truth, desperation comes in like a title wave. The intense need for change, for forgiveness, for cleansing brings you into a whole new sense of who you are and who God is. It’s the start of a revelation- that you are a sinner, and God is Holy and merciful. It’s something you’ve known, but until you truly see the need for a Savior, it doesn’t register with your spirit.

In these past months that I’ve grown closer to Christ- I’ve realized that my hearts desire for purity has become complacent. I have allowed sins to enter my heart, and they’ve left me hard and cold towards Gods precious Spirit. As I have been diving into the Word of God, the ice of my heart has melted, and I’ve seen my sinful heart for what it is- desperate for repentance.

Repentance is turning completely away from sin- making a 180° turn from your old way of life. It’s being broken before a Holy and Righteous God. It’s about grabbing a hold of a hunger and a desperate desire for a pure and clean heart. It’s more then feeling sorry- it’s taking action. It’s pulling the weeds out, and killing the roots.

How do we do this? We fall on our faces before God and cry out to Him. We admit we are completely and totally lost without Him, and there is nothing good inside of our hearts. We praise Him for His Holiness, and confess our unworthiness. We humbly ask God to break us, and we beg Him for reformation.

As you cry out before God- let this song’s words be the cry of your heart;

Give Us Clean Hands (Psalm 24:3-6)
Words & Music by Charlie Hall

Verse
We bow our hearts, we bend our knees
Oh Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes from evil things
Oh Lord we cast down our idols

Chorus
Give us clean hands, Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another (2x)
Oh God let us be the generation that seeks
Who seeks your face Oh God of Jacob (2x)
© 1995 The Generation Music

- by Katie (Barron) Holman
Photo by Bethany Wissman