Eric and Leslie Ludy have a great analogy for preparing for a relationship. It's about building a castle. You can choose to build a card castle, which is built without a foundation (a relationship without a future in mind) and will crumble to the ground at the first sight of stormclouds. Or, you can build a rock-solid castle. These are the steps they suggest...
Pour the Cement
Surrender to God and lean to trust Him.
Enough said, but a huge step to take.
Work on inward purity.
A moat protects the castle, and working on keeping your soul clean protects your heart.
Wait on God, and ignore the world.
Plant trees to guard your heart from people who would seek to destroy it. Choose a secluded place to build your castle; tuck it way back in the mountains. (Distance yourself from people and places that hinder your perspective, whether that means movies or magazines or friends.)
This is covenant love.Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. There is no fine print in the vows. Practice commitment in other areas of your life, and be consistent. You need to be faithful to your future mate long before you meet them. Make sacrifices and give up temporary pleasures for the sake of investing in your future relationship. Don't know what to sacrifice? Ask God. Just be willing to listen.
Embrace the family.
Let them share in your experiences with friends. Be accountable to your mom and dad, and ask their advice. Try to know the family even before anything romantic starts. This isn't always possible, but it's a lot of fun!
This means tenderness.
Tenderness is an art. It involves forgetting about yourself and thinking about the needs of someone else. Tenderness sees the need and doesn't ask why. Tenderness is not something that you will just develop when you get married. It is a trait that must be cultivated while you are young and pliable. Guys, practice on your mother and sisters, because the way you treat them will be how you treat your wife. Girls, let your dad and brothers know how much you love them.
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the Rock." Matthew 7:24, 25
If your castle is built on the Rock,
the storms of marriage and life will not destroy it.
