The Love Story of Carolyn & Seth Honea
written by Carolyn Honea
It was the summer of 2000; I had just finished my sophomore year of high school and Seth was finishing his sophomore year of college. I had always noticed Seth but until this point we knew each other only as acquaintances in the same church. That changed when several mutual friends began graduating high school and it was at their graduation parties when our paths began to intertwine. Seth took a casual interest in me during a time when I felt many of my friendships were slipping away. To him I was just a young girl who had a bit more depth than the others (thus his interest in talking to me); to me, he was an older brother whose kindness in reaching out to me was much appreciated. And so it began.
At the end of the summer we participated in a week-long youth retreat in Franklin, WV. He went to play in the band and help lead, I went as a youth participant. Through a series of Providential events we both ended up staying for two days after the retreat with some friends. We can both vividly recall a certain moment on that trip when we were out 4-wheeling and exchanged a glance, a smile, and in that moment God awakened something in our hearts, though we were barely aware of it then.
This “something” began to grow in our hearts though we still thought we were only as brother and sister to each other. Our friendship deepened and we came to really respect each other more than any other young person. Social gatherings, church events, emails, and instant messages were our means of interaction.
In December of that year I suddenly felt God speak to me that Seth was “the one” though at that point I had still been insisting to myself that we were just friends. After all, there was five years between us! But after that my eyes began to be opened to the fact that Seth, indeed, seemed to have special interest in me. He was also beginning to realize that his care for me went beyond brotherly feelings.
We never directly communicated this change in our relationship and yet somehow it subtly came across. There was an unspoken understanding between us. Our affections for each other became very strong. As my girlfriends moved on to “cooler” friends, Seth became my best friend. And dare I say he was the first true friend I ever had?
But here I must pick up the pace of my story. Early in 2001 my parents began to realize that I had an interest in Seth. I had not been honest and open with them, as I should have been. They were understandably very upset and concerned that I had gone down these paths without their knowledge, with a young man they barely knew, and that I had not guarded my heart. As a result they decided it would best for us if they severely limited our interaction in the hopes that it would help us to reign in our hearts. Looking back I can understand why they did this, though at the time it was very hard to accept.
Suddenly I went from almost daily interaction with the one I cared so much for to very few interactions at all. I can say without doubt that was the most painful and heart wrenching time of my life. For several months I felt crushed. It didn’t help that I did not have many other friends. But God used this loneliness and desperation in an incredible way. He had brought me to a low place where all I could do was turn to him. When I did, he heard my cries and answered me tenderly. I learned so much weeping at the feet of my Father. Lessons on God’s sufficiency, the depths of his love, his patient discipline, surrendering to Him, and his amazing faithfulness became my daily bread. That season was bittersweet. The ache of longing in my heart never faded and yet I was experiencing such sweet communion with the Lord that nothing could compare to.
This went on for many months, for nearly two years, in fact. Over the course of these months God sent many signs my way that confirmed to me that Seth really was the one. I believed it was just a matter of His perfect timing. I needed to graduate high school, Seth needed to graduate college, my parents needed to get to know Seth better and have confidence that we were both ready for the next step. In the summer of 2002 I graduated high school and Seth began to meet regularly with my dad. This gave them a chance to get to know one another and in October ’02 my dad gave Seth permission to court me. I’ll never forget when my dad called me to tell me that he had given Seth permission and that “there was no other young man in the church who he would rather have court me.” Wow! What a testimony to God’s hand at work in all of our lives.
On October 8, 2002, Seth took me out for coffee after one of our college meetings. As we sat at Starbucks…the first time we had been allowed to go out alone together…he asked if he could court me. I had only waited 730 days (2 years) to tell him “Yes!!!” I don’t remember the details of that evening very well, but I remember walking around the park area outside and sitting on a bench while it drizzled on us. It felt like a dream, like walking on the clouds. We had waited so long for that day, and yet I remember it felt a little awkward. We talked about the past few years and about what our courtship would be like. And we thanked God together for his faithfulness.
Because over the years we had both developed a strong belief that it was God’s will for us to be married, our courtship looked a little different from the cookie-cutter courtship. (Who has one of those, anyway?) Our purpose for courtship was this, to see if God confirmed his will to us as we purposefully sought to further get to know one another as honestly and openly as possible. We believed that if it really was his will for us then our parents would be in faith for our relationship.
I think our faith gave us the courage to ask each other a lot of questions and be very vulnerable. We weren’t afraid to probe each other’s convictions to see if we matched up. And oh, the bliss of this discovery process! All the things we thought we knew about each we were able to confirm. I felt such relief and joy to discover how perfectly aligned were our beliefs, convictions, and vision for our lives. There was no doubt now that God had made us for each other.
We spent two months courting. That is short, it is true, but we didn’t have as much ground to cover as some. We went out on weekly dates, spent time with our families together, and continued to interact in church and social contexts. Those two months felt like such a dream! I doubt there was ever a time we got together that we did not thank God for his faithfulness and mercy. Why was he so good to us?!
In December ’02 my dad gave Seth permission to propose to me. On Sunday, December 15 (the day after Seth graduated) I had a strong sense that the day would hold what I had so long anticipated. In the afternoon Seth picked me up to go out on our date, and we headed to Latta Plantation Park. Almost two years before on my birthday we had gone to this park together, along with one of my brothers, and traveled the lakeside path enjoying the gorgeous day. The path goes out on a peninsula and at its point is a large, flat rock on the water. We had sat on the rock for a long time and talked. That day was a special memory to both of us.
So two years later Seth was bringing me back again (this time happily alone). The sky was pure blue and the temperature was pleasantly cool. I knew it was lovingly handmade by God for us. When we got to the rock the sun was setting and we stood there soaking in the beauty for a few moments. I was thinking, "What now...?" as I wondered what Seth was going to do. Then it happened. The moment I've dreamed about since a little girl came true. Seth said that he had brought me here for a special reason and he turned and got down on his knees. With many sweet words that he had been preparing he asked me to be his wife, and I said yes. :-D I sat down next to him and he slipped the ring on my finger. (He picked it out himself, by the way, and it is so beautiful!) We hugged and I told him that I loved him with all my heart. This was the first time we used the words “I love you” with each other.
We sat there watching the sun set behind the lake across from us and its orange light reflect on the water and in the sky. It was so perfectly lovely and I was utterly amazed at God’s goodness to us. Seth told me that on that day two years before he had thought about bringing me back here one day to propose…and over those seemingly long years God had been constantly confirming in our hearts – and the hearts of those around us – that this was his will for our lives. His perfect plan established before either of us were born to bring us together for his glory and our pleasure.
We were engaged for six months and wed on June 21, 2003. Six months after that I became pregnant and on September 13, 2004 our first child was born, Wesley Grant Honea. I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for us as we spend our days seeking His kingdom hand-in-hand.
Visit Carolyn's blog at http://www.livejournal.com/users/cdaisy113/
