The Courtship Story of Ruth Heinemann and Tim Jaeger

as told by Ruth

It was the spring of 2004. I was 22 years old and the last thing that I wanted to do was meet any man! I have been a firm believer in courtship for years and have tried to avoid pitfalls. However, sometimes real life doesn't work "as advertised." So after having my emotions jaded multiple times, I decided that meeting/courting/marrying a man would have no place in my life for a long time! Little did I know what God had planned for me or what lay just around the corner. I belonged to a Christian dating website and had tried to use the site to make friends, but one day, the convicting words of one of my older women friends won out. I deleted my profile, realizing that if I was not seeking a relationship, then staying in a place where that was the stated focus wouldn't be beneficial to me. Little did I realize that there was a man that I had talked to, who wouldn't be easily detered and that in a little over a year and a half later, we would be married.

I deleted my profile and then went happily about my day. At the time, I was working as a Bible instructor in the Florida Keys and I had plenty to do with my day other than stay on the computer. Not too long later, I received an email that said something like this: "Hi Ruth, where did you go? Did you get raptured or something? Just kidding." Anyway, it was from Tim Jaeger, a guy in Michigan that I had wrote a few times. I hit the reply button and immediately wrote back to him. I explained my reasons for leaving the site and made a few other comments. Well, this was the beginning of an ongoing friendship.

Tim had added me to his msn list so we chatted regularly and long, often until late at night. I was beginning to really like this guy. I was scared. I had just said that I wouldn't fall for any guy again for a long time and here I was clicking with Tim so well. I prayed, "God, please make it clear to me why you allowed Tim to come into my life." We soon discovered that we shared similar views on child raising, debt and money, country living, Christian lifestyle, etc. We were also from the same church denomination.

Our time on msn continued on for awhile. I had deleted my profile on April 6 and I would leave the Keys on May 3 to go up North. God's timing is perfect. If things had happened any later, things would not have worked, as there was only a window of a few weeks in there to get to know Tim on MSN. (And I was very firm on avoiding talking on the phone too quickly!) Tim was disappointed that I was not going to have regular computer access for months. So he asked if he could talk on the phone with me once a week. After thinking a little bit, I said yes. Our "weekly" phone calls soon turned into much more frequent chat sessions.  We laughed and laughed and chatted about life, God, etc. We were becoming very close. My heart was also becoming very vulnerable, though we had never met in person.

Around mid-May, Tim said that he had some friends going down to Tennessee for the weekend and asked if he could come see me. I said yes. The weekend of May 28-30 was the weekend we would meet. I was also buying another car that weekend and going to get my allergies tested, so it was a busy weekend! The man who was to sell me the car didn't show up for hours. So I called Tim and said, "It doesn't look like I'm going anywhere for a long time. If you want to meet me tonight, you'll have to drive over to me." Our first meeting was filled with a lot of fun, laughter, and sharing pictures and other things. Also, we drove the man who sold me the car to Atlanta in the middle of the night. Finally we got back to the Chattanooga area at 6:00 in the morning! That day, we went to church and then hung out together for the whole day. That night we went out for Chinese food and then I dropped Tim off at his hotel. It was hard to say good-bye. We had already become fast friends and didn't want to part so soon. 24 hours had gone by all too fast. I got back in my car and drove all the way back to Knoxville that night. What an incredible weekend! I started feeling that I'd met the man that I would marry. I had a feeling of goodness and rightness about Tim.

We continued our phone conversations and then 3 weeks later, I was surprised with the opportunity to visit again. This time our visit was in Covington, KY. We had another awesome weekend. By this time, Tim was definitely thinking of something more serious, so we had a heart to heart talk at 11:30 PM in the Knoxville Wal-Mart on our views of courting and dating. He hadn't been exposed much to courting but was open to the idea. We continued on our correspondence however, even though he felt unsure with the idea of immediately proposing a courtship. After my youth program for the summer ended, I moved up to Lexington, KY where I would be working doing Christian sales. Tim needed to come to a convention in the Cincinnati area, so he came down to spend a few hours with me and work on my computer. We went out to Chinese food and talked a lot that day.   Finally, after a very unexpected visit by me to Tim and his family in Michigan and some counselling with his advisors, on August 26 at 7:18 (approximately) in the morning, Tim asked me to court him. I said yes!

Now we lived 5 hours from each other, me in Northern Kentucky, and Tim in Southern Michigan. However, we started immediately to get into the swing of regular visits. We visited at least twice a month. We did fun things like going to Tim's Aunt Barb's house in Northern Michigan and also went to a counselling seminar in Milwaukee, WI. Around November, I planned a surprise visit up to Michigan to see Tim. We would be together for 9 days! That was a record thus far. That's when we started talking more seriously. Then I started making plans to possibly move to Michigan. Just a month later, on December 24, 2004, I packed my stuff and moved to Michigan. Those first months in Michigan were filled with many challenges but as I look back, I know that God was strengthening us through it all and that He has a plan for all the challenges in our lives. Real courtship stories are often filled with pain and I'm thankful that God uses pain to help us to become more like Him.

During the summer of 2005, Tim and I realized that our relationship was coming to a decision point. We realized that we needed to make a decision one way or another.   For 4th of July weekend, 2005, Tim and I went to spend the weekend with relatives and friends. One night when we were sitting up late talking, on July 2, 2005, at 12:53 in the morning, Tim asked me to marry him. I said yes! After being engaged for 4 months we were married on November 6, 2005 in a beautiful wedding attended by about 130 family and friends. We honeymooned in the Florida Keys (where it all started in the first place!).

Not too long after we were married, we were overjoyed to find out that we were expecting a baby right away! We believe that children are truly a heritage from the Lord and look forward to raising our little one in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.    My day by day life with my husband has made me appreciate him all the more. Being married to him really makes his positive traits shine even brighter. Yes, there are trials and God uses our spouse not to just make us happy but also to prepare us for heaven. However, the joys far outweigh the trials. Being married to your best friend is an indescribable joy. I thank the Lord for bringing Tim and I together and I look forward to many more happy years with my best friend.