Covenant Love: A Story of God's Faithfulness
told by Jenny (Stevens) Montgomery
July 7, 2007 is the day that the Lord will bring our long season of Betrothal to completion. It is the day that Aaron Montgomery and I look forward to with joyful anticipation and gratitude. It will be a day of worship, as we give thanks to God for His incredible grace and faithfulness.
Our story began in the summer of 2002, in a little church in the little town of Del Rio , Texas . Both of our families were stationed at Laughlin Air Force base, and neither of our families could have possibly imagined then, the purpose of being sent to “the armpit of Texas .”
I wasn’t sure what to think of Aaron when I first met him. He was a very tall, fifteen year old with braces and intimidating dark eyes that seemed to pierce right through me. When the Montgomery family moved to Del Rio , they immediately plugged in to the church and involved themselves in the same activities that I participated in. Because of this, Aaron and I saw each other several times a week, but we didn’t talk to one other much. About a month after their arrival in Del Rio, the Montgomery ’s invited our family over for dinner. The evening was enjoyable and we shared sweet fellowship, though it was mostly our parents who visited. During that first dinner together, I quietly began to notice how much our families had in common… but I still wasn’t quite sure what to think of Aaron.
That dinner together was the first of many. Over the next couple of months, Aaron and I got to know each other better in a very family-oriented setting. I actually spent more time with his mother than I did with him. She and I scrap-booked together frequently, we both helped in the girls Awana group, and I spent hours helping her stencil their living room. We got along really well, in fact, I remember thinking to myself, “I’d marry Aaron just to have her as my mother-in-law!” I 
know, it’s terrible. Needless to say, I wasn’t very interested in Aaron at the time.
But..…that changed. I’m not sure exactly how or when it changed, but over time, it did. I saw Aaron pretty much every day because of family get-togethers and church activities. I saw him in many different situations; I watched as he interacted with his younger brothers, and observed carefully how he treated his parents. I noticed his love for children as he taught Sunday school and Awana, and I saw his heart for the Lord during Bible study, prayer, and family discussions. I also observed the great gentleness and respect with which he treated my younger sister, Lori. He treated us both as sisters, and that meant a lot to me. (Much later, when the news was out about our betrothal, many people were confused about which of “The Stevens Girls” he was betrothed to!) The more we got to know each other, the more common ground we found. Before I knew it, a friendship had developed.
My family can testify to the fact that it was only a few months between the time that we met the Montgomery ’s, and when I started to “notice” Aaron. I think they knew it even before I did. Aaron and I never talked to each other about our feelings. We never had any private conversations, and we never did anything alone…but there was somehow an unspoken understanding between us that I can’t really put into words. Every once in a while our eyes would meet and something would stir in my heart. It was a very awkward sensation that I had never felt before, and it bothered me a great deal. As the months went on, the “sensation” grew more intense and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. It became a huge struggle for me; an inward battle that would continue for over a year.
I remember April 2004 as being a major turning point for me. Although Aaron and I had not spent time alone together, and did not discuss our emotions, our attraction to one another became obvious. It culminated when we impetuously put ourselves into a situation that “let the cat out of the bag” so to speak, about our feelings for each other. At that point, it was clear to us, and to our parents, that our emotions had become a “stronghold” that needed to be dealt with. We each willingly put ourselves under the discipline of our parents, and the Lord used them to lovingly chasten our immaturity and create the needed distance between us…
For several weeks there was an “invisible wall” between Aaron and I. We still saw each other, but rarely spoke to one another; communic
ation was suddenly reduced to nil. The Lord did some serious “heart surgery” on me during this time. It was very, very hard. It seemed like everyday He brought to light another heart issue I needed to surrender. It was one of the most painful seasons of spiritual growth that I have ever experienced. I wrote in my journal, “I know that we as believers must be “pruned” so that we can bear more fruit for the Lord, but I feel as though I have been pruned so much that there is nothing left of me but a pitiful little stub!” The Lord is faithful and gracious; He used the painful pruning and discipline to produce in me “the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” (Heb 12:11) He taught me what it meant to be truly satisfied in Him alone. I was like a butterfly immerging from an ugly cocoon. After surrendering to Christ, there was such a dramatic change in my countenance, that several people asked what happened to me. I still shake my head in wonder about the way that God mercifully “called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9)
That summer, I went on a missions trip to Thailand , and Aaron went to Sweden . The only contact we had during those three months apart were two or three letters that were lovingly proof-read by the wise eyes of our parents. The Lord worked in both of our hearts while we poured ourselves out in service to Him and focused on being satisfied in Christ alone. While I was in Thailand , the Lord freed me, and caused my heart to be truly content in Him. He brought me to the point where I honestly and passionately desired HIS will over mine, no matter what happened. The result of that t
ransformation was a peace and joy that cannot be expressed in words. I was thoroughly happy and free to serve God with my WHOLE heart.
When Aaron and I saw each other again in the fall, something was different between us. Focusing on Jesus Christ, and not each other, freed us to enjoy a family-oriented friendship that glorified God and brought joy to those around us.
Over the next several months, I continued to be transparent with my parents about how God was working in me. I gave them my heart, trusting that the Lord would guide me through their counsel. I spent many hours (and used many boxes of Kleenex) talking with my Mother about Aaron. I remember telling her in tears, “I just want to know if Aaron is the one I am going to marry….I feel like I could wait ten years to get married if I just knew who!” Then the Lord reminded me to, “Be still and know that I am God”(Ps 96:10) That was all I needed to know at the time. Mother was a tremendous encouragement to me as I daily sought to trust the Lord unreservedly. The words to the Hymn, “Trust and Obey” meant a lot to me during those long months of silent waiting, “When we walk with the Lord, in the light of His word, what a glory He sheds on our way! When we do His good will, He abides with us still, and with all who will trust and obey… But we never can prove the delights of His love until all on the altar we lay; for the favor He shows, and the joy He bestows, are for them who will trust and obey…”
In October, I was surprised by a phone call from Aaron’s mom. She invited me to go out to lunch with her and her husband. Someh
ow, I instinctively knew that it had something to do with Aaron…. I was right. It did not take long for Mr. Montgomery to reveal the reason for taking me out to lunch. He told me that they had been secretly meeting with my parents for some time to discuss the possibility of marriage between Aaron and I. Then he asked me some very personal questions about my dreams and my feelings for Aaron. Then, after a pause, he looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Jenny, do you love Aaron?” If ever there was a moment in my life when my heart stopped completely, it was then. I felt myself nod and heard my little voice answer, “Yes, I do” but somehow it didn’t seem like it was really me. I had never before confessed out loud what I felt in my heart, and never before realized how much I loved Aaron until I was confronted with this very direct question. Yes, I had been attracted to him for a long time, but that attraction seemed more like a foolish infatuation. It was not until the summer that we were away from each other that I realized that I truly and deeply loved him. It was a different kind of love; a love that was quietly surrendered to Christ. I was surprised by my very calm and equally direct response to Mr. Montgomery’s heart-probing question. He told me that they wanted to be sure where my heart was before they proceeded with the conversation. Mr. Montgomery then told me that Aaron loved me. The word, “elated” is not quite descriptive enough to tell of the joy that suddenly gushed through me at that moment. Since April, Aaron had not given me the slightest hint by his actions or words as to his feelings. I had not dared to hope that loved me. I don’t remember much of the conversation after that point; I was too happy to be good for anything. They told me that this was the time to be watching him very carefully, to ask them questions, and to be praying about a possible future together…but that were not to express our feelings to each other. Again, I was encouraged to trust and wait quietly.
In December 2004, our family moved to San Antonio . Before we moved, our parents had not discussed with us what kind of communication Aaron and I would have with each other from that point on. It was somewhat of a struggle for me to drive away from Del Rio , not knowing when I’d see Aaron or be able to talk to him again. Three weeks passed without a word spoken on the topic. It was very hard for me. I poured my heart out to the Lord and told him of my loneliness and my desire for His will to be done. Again, He spoke to my heart, “Trust and Obey”
T
he next time I saw Aaron was at my older sister’s wedding, on January 8 , 2005 . We chatted easily with one another, as if no time had passed, but on the inside I was thinking, “Have you had as difficult a time in the last few weeks as I have? Have you missed me at all?” Just before the reception, my parents called me outside. There, in the parking lot stood Aaron and his parents. I immediately knew something important was about to happen. Our parents told us that they were opening communication between Aaron and I. They explained that we could e-mail each other, but there were certain topics that must be avoided for our protection; topics such as our feelings for one another, how much we missed each other, dreams of the future etc. Permissible topics included what God was teaching us through our Bible studies, family news, school, and everyday life. As we wrote our letters, we were to keep in mind that at any given time, any of the parents could read what we wrote. We joyfully and excitedly accepted these guidelines and looked forward to this new season of friendship…
E-mails flew between us during the next four months. We filled page after page discussing life, and how God was challenging and growing us. Through those e-mails we got to know each other better and sharpened each other “as iron sharpens iron.” I filled an entire notebook with the printed letters we had written. After we moved, I got to see Aaron about once or twice a month when his family came to visit San Antonio for various reasons. Each time our families were together, the fellowship was encouraging and sweet.
Over the summer of 2004, I had read a book by Ravi Zacharias called, “I Isaac, Take Thee, Rebecca.” It really inspired me in the area of male/female relationships, and intensified my desire to glorify God on the pathway to marriage. I am going to digress from my story for a while to share with you a little bit about our family’s view on the subject of love and courtship. Both of our families do not believe that dating is the best way to find a mate. The reason for this, is that all too often, couples break off dating relationships and engagements in which they have invested a substantial part of their lives. This pattern of “dating and dumping”…. or even making a “commitment” to get married, but leaving room to back out before the wedding, puts the couple in a very vulnerable situation. It sets them up for heartache and does not train them to work through their issues and practice the kind of sacrificial love that is necessary for a lasting marriage. But then the question arises, “If we are not going to play the dating game…then what?? How is marriage to be pursued?” Our families pondered this question for a long time and sought out the Biblical pattern for choosing a mate. In God’s word we are given the picture that the church is betrothed to Christ; we are his Bride, it is a permanent covenant, similar to marriage (the only difference is that there is no physical contact whatsoever). Betrothal is different from engagement because it is not only a commitment between two people to get married; it is permanent covenant before God. There is no bailing out, no dumping, and no giving up. The knot is already tied. The contract is already signed. The hearts are already sealed into one. I will explain a little more about betrothal later, but for now, it is just important to understand that both Aaron and I had separately communicated with our parents that we wanted our relationship to be a picture of Christ and his pure relationship with the church. Because of all of this discussion, I knew that Aaron and I would one day be betrothed, but I didn’t know when…
Saturday, April 23 began as a normal, "ho-hum" kind of day. No plans… frumpy comfy clothes….and only a heap of studying and homework for me to look forward to. But little did I know that it was a special day that I would remember for the rest of my life.
The Montgomery ’s were in town to celebrate Easter. Aaron's mom called in the afternoon inviting us to join their family for 
dinner that evening, to "try out a new restaurant". This was not unusual, in fact, it was quite normal for our families to plan things on the spur-of-the-moment. I told her I'd talk to my parents and find out if they had plans and then we'd get back to her. Of course my parents accepted the invitation and we looked forward to an evening of familiar fellowship. Though, I did find it curious that just before we were going to leave, my dad told me I needed to go change into something nicer. I remember thinking, “what’s the big deal? It’s JUST the Montgomery’s!”
That evening, we pulled into the parking lot of a quaint little inn. When we got out of the car, Daddy took my arm as usual, but he started walking in the opposite direction of the restaurant. I said, "Daddy, I think we're going the wrong way… " But he didn't say anything, and I began to wonder what was going on when he led me up a rocky pathway to a little cottage. The door was open a crack, and he made me go in first. I was halfway curious, halfway nervous, thinking that we were in the wrong place and it was private property or something. The first thing I saw when I opened the door was Aaron, wearing a suit and tie, standing next to a candlelit table. I was stunned. Then what shocked me even more, was that over a fireplace, there was a collage of pictures of Aaron and I, and the words, "memories together". It took me a minute to register what was going on. Daddy said, "I guess you've figured out that dinner tonight was not just a spur-of-the-moment thing….we've been planning this for a long time. This is a family celebration…all about you and Aaron". I looked at Aaron in complete shock, trembling with excitement as I realized that that our long period of silent trusting was over. Mr. Montgomery led us in singing, "Trust and Obey"…which is a very meaningful hymn for us as we have submissively waited on God's timing. Aaron and I sat across from each other, at the end of the table, with our parents in the middle, and Aaron's two brothers and my sister Lori at the other end of the table. Our parents then took turns sharing about how they each could sense God's direction, and how Aaron and I were meant to be together.
Then it was Aaron's turn to speak. He asked for my dad's permission to marry me. (as if they hadn't talked before!) And as Daddy gave his blessing, he squeezed my hand and held it tight. Aaron thanked my parents for the way that they had raised me. Then he turned to me and after a pause, he told me that he loved me. I started crying. It was so precious to hear him say those words for the first time…. He told me that I was everything he had been praying for for eight years, and that Proverbs 31 was a description of me. I felt so unworthy. All I could do was sit in tearful silence, with a million emotions running through me all at once.
After dinner, Aaron brought out two little boxes. He gave one to Daddy, and one to me. Daddy opened his first, it had a beautiful amethyst and diamond ring inside. Everyone watched breathlessly as Daddy took my hand, and replaced my promise ring with Aaron's ring. As he did so, he talked about how it was a symbol of the sacrifice Aaron was willing to make out of love for me. He talked about the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross for His bride, the church, and that my ring was to always be a reminder of Aaron's sacrificial love for me in the same way. Now you all may be thinking, "How UNromantic…. Why didn't Aaron put it on your finger?" The reason my dad put on the ring was to express his full blessing, approval, and joy about the covenant Aaron and I were entering. Next, I opened up the little box that Aaron had given to me. Inside was a gorgeous necklace and 
earrings to match my ring. I was speechless.
When Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery told me that they too had a gift for me, I was overwhelmed. I was even more astounded when they showed me what it was. They bought Aaron a life-insurance policy and made me the sole beneficiary. If anything were to happen to Aaron, then I would be completely taken care of. This gift, they told me, was to show that they were taking full responsibility to make sure that I am provided for in every way, no matter what happens. It was also meant to impress on us the seriousness and the permanence of the covenant which we were to sign that evening. What an amazing gift.
Mr. Montgomery read our Betrothal covenant out loud, and after our parents signed it, Aaron and I sealed our covenant in writing.
Since Aaron and I entered a permanent covenant relationship nearly two years ago, the Lord has faithfully grown us and bound our hearts together. Through the ups and downs, the tears and smiles, the burdens and joys, we have learned to love each other sacrificially. We have come to understand the love of Christ in ways that we could not have fully understood before we were betrothed. In the same way that Jesus Christ will never abandon his church, Aaron will never abandon me, no matter what happens. We as believers in Jesus Christ permanently belong to Him. He sought us, paid a huge price (His death on the cross) to call us His own, and gave us the holy spirit as a seal and symbol of his everlasting covenant with his chosen bride (Ephesians 1:13, 4:30). Similarly, Aaron sought me to be his chosen bride and gave me a special ring as a symbol of his permanent covenant with me. Our longing for Christ’s return for his bride holds new meaning for us as we eagerly look forward to the day when we will be married.
We hope that you will be able to join us in worship and celebration as we are joyfully united in marriage on July 7, 2007 ! Soli Deo Gloria.
Now to Him who is able to do
far more abundantly than all that we ask or think,
according to the power at work within us,
to Him be the glory in the church and in
Christ Jesus throughout all generations,
forever and ever. Amen."
Eph 3: 20-21
