From My Point Of View: Purity Rings
I have a purity ring, and it is a very special thing to me. My dad gave it to me on my 13th birthday. It’s not fancy, so it’s not like a piece of jewelry to attract attention; it’s a simple black hills gold band with two leaves on it. I swim, sleep, shower, and do everything else while wearing my ring.
My ring symbolizes my purity, and my commitment to stay sexually pure until marriage. I wear it on my "wedding ring" finger, and there it will remain until an engagement or wedding ring replaces it. Then I might put it on my pinkie, if it fits.
Not only does it symbolize my purity but it is one of the most special things I own. It is a gift from my dad, given with lots of love to a special daughter. When my older sister got her purity ring a few years before I got mine, that was before I really understood what the ring stands for, and I wanted one simply because I could see that it was a very special thing, which it is. I treasure my purity ring with all of my heart.
-Bess Botkin, age 14
My father gave me a promise ring for my 16th birthday. He gave it to me right before we went into the restaurant for my first "date" (and the only date I will have until I am married). I wear it in place of the wedding ring that will someday be there (Lord willing), as a symbol of my commitment to purity. It also represents my submission to my father, which will one day be replaced by submission to my husband. It will remain on my hand until my wedding day.
Because of Christ, Rachael L. Chaney
I do not have a purity ring, although I have heard of girls owning them from various places. If purity rings serve to remind us of our promise before God and men, then I suppose they can be a very good and special gift. Probably I will never own one, but I wouldn’t mind. :-) What a nice way to remind us of the importance of purity, which has sadly been degraded and lost in our modern day!
Bethany ~ Beaver, PA
Although I personally do not own a purity ring, and actually have not yet decided if I want to get one, I would simply like to say that deciding to or not to get what I consider an outward symbol of one’s commitment to chastity is totally up to the individual (and her parents, in many cases). I have already made the commitment, inside myself, to abstinence before marriage. I know a girl who’s 18 and now engaged, who never had a ring but her commitment remained strong. There are others I know, who like to have something to hold up and show people that they have made a commitment—perhaps it seems more unbreakable that way.
To tell you the truth, since I’m not used to wearing much jewelry at all, and have very rarely worn a ring in my life, a purity ring could be an inconvenience to me. Of course, there are girls who use bracelets or necklaces in place of rings, which is fine.
To sum it up, I think the choice is up to each girl. The only danger I can think of to NOT having a ring (or whatever) is that someone might possibly be able to talk you out of your decision more easily. I’m not about to compromise my convictions (any of them!), but if I ever feel the need to "renew my commitment" I would certainly consider a purity/chastity/courtship ring!
Sincerely, Alicia M. Cohn Greenwood, age 15
I think purity rings are a great idea, but I don’t have one yet, ’cause I’m actually holding out for a purity car! Vrrooom! (I mean Pur-i-teeee!)
See, there’s more than one of us doing that. Someone else you may have heard of doing the same thing is Josh Harris. (Josh told us about this great idea at his conference in Portland, Oregon. He said, "Parents are buying girls purity rings as a sign they will remain sexually pure until marriage. I’m actually holding out for a purity car—a red sports car convertible. Every time I threw that baby into third gear, it would be like, ‘Pur-i-teeee.’" :-))
-Sabine Limbeck, age 14
P.S. I want a jet-black convertible sports car.
I think purity rings are a good reminder and witness. I do not own a ring that was purchased for that specific reason, but my parents gave me a special ring for my 12th birthday. It is a sterling silver ring with "JESUS" inscribed on it. I’ve worn it since I was 12, getting it made bigger and now I need it smaller again.
To me, it’s a reminder of Jesus and my promise to Him that I will remain sexually pure until marriage. I encourage those of you who do not own a purity ring to get one.
In Him, Stefanie Pfizenmaier, age 15
I don’t have a purity ring (yet), but I wanted to let you know that your "From My Point of View" column has prompted me to get one! My parents and I have been looking for a ring, and I am very excited about it. To me it’s like the signet rings in the Bible: they were given to seal a contract or commitment between the king and another person. Well, a purity ring is a tangible reminder of the agreement we have made with God (the King!), and also our father and mother. It is an outward indication of an inward commitment; a promise that we have made and that we intend to keep.
-Kristy Smith; Three Rivers, TX; age 17
Words of Wisdom from Elisabeth Elliot
A letter from Mildred Scott in Missouri: "Dear Elisabeth…I bought both my twelve-year-old granddaughter and my fourteen-year-old grandson a chastity ring after they had expressed their desire to have one. I made sure that they both understood what they were promising by wearing these rings. Also, I solicited and received a promise from both of them that they would continue to wear these rings until they get married, even if their friends make fun of them for wearing them."
I’m so glad to hear about those chastity rings. I am very thankful for the fact that it does appear to me that there is a real, sort of a groundswell, of desire for sexual purity. I think there’s a generation of young people out there who are beginning to realize how deeply they have been confused by the behavior of their parents, and perhaps even of their grandparents. There are several generations now, since the things that happened in the 1960’s when virtually everything that really mattered seemed to be swept off the board.
Those chastity rings [are] just one more little way of encouraging young people to wait for the right person at the right time. That has got to be your marriage partner. There is no place in Scripture whatsoever for any kind of sexual activity outside of marriage.
Mildred says, "Now I realize that their wearing of these rings does not guarantee that they will keep these promises, but I firmly believe that it will act as a deterrent when they are tempted to commit any immoral act."
-Elisabeth Elliot’s Gateway to Joy website — http://www.gatewaytojoy.org/. Copyright © 1998 Good News Broadcasting Association, Inc. (Back to the Bible), Lincoln, Nebraska, USA. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Another Testimony… (Note from the Editor)
In the March 1997 issue of "Family News from Dr. James Dobson," there was a wonderful letter from a girl sharing about when she received her purity ring. Unfortunately, I could not get permission to reprint it (Dr. Dobson’s letter could only be reprinted in it’s entirety, and there’s no way the whole thing would have fit in this P31! :-)), but you can check it out on the Web at http://www.fotf.org/docstudy/newsletters/a0000069.html. (The letter I’m referring to was written by a "Kathleen," and is listed as number three under the letters from teenagers.)
Please Note: The opinions expressed in "From My Point of View" may be, but are not necessarily, the opinions of the Young Ladies Christian Fellowship, The P31, or the editor, Gretchen Glaser.