Should Youth Group?

To group or not to group. That is the question. Not exactly Shakespeare. However, had Mr. Shakespeare gone to a 20th century church as a teenager, he might have written this line.

One of the controversial puzzles facing Christian teens and their parents today is the local church youth group. Do you "group”, or not?

Before I set myself up as a youth group expert, I'll let you know what my qualifications are: I. I recognize that all youth groups are not created equal; 2. I've been in a youth group with my parents' consent; 3. I've left a youth group at my parents' desire; and 4. I've got a word processor and reasonable grammar skills.

The basic idea behind church youth groups is good: to reach out to non-Christian teens, using fun activities to get them into church and, hopefully, saved. But what happens in the typical youth group after they become saved and begin going to church? Often, there is little or no growth as a Christian. Why? Because all they do is continue to reach out to non-Christian teens and go to fun activities. Now don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed the times I spent with my church youth group. Like the time where we built a forty-foot banana split. (I ate three feet alone!) Or the time when we met our Sunday School attendance challenge and got to shave the youth director's legs. (For you parents reading this, don't worry, it was a man!) My brother Jason nicked him four times. Twenty more kids, and we would've gotten to shave his head.

Because I was saved at an early age, home schooled, and trained by godly parents, I was not looking to the church youth group to meet my spiritual needs. Many kids do not have that background and need more than a good time. They need spiritual grounding to fight the peer pressure that the world will hurl at them. A good youth leader, as the one in my church, will recognize this and provide Bible studies, prayer and sharing times, along with the other activities.

The problem that my parents have with youth groups is the fact that kids are encouraged to "bond together" instead of bonding to their families. My dad was a youth director for one summer when he was in his early twenties. (I won't give you a date, but the Beach Boys were actually still boys.) One of his first events was a parent-kid game day to encourage parental involvement. His goal was "to restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers." (Malachi 4:6) Instead he was told by the parents, "We don't want to be involved; that's what we're paying you to do."

As my parents began to pick up on the "bonding" mentality, my dad asked us to leave the youth group; and we began doing in-depth Bible studies at home to reinforce our family unity and spiritual strength. We were not totally isolated; we were allowed to attend the weekly youth sharing time, and occasionally one of the more special events.

As I approached the later teen years, my youth director asked my dad to allow Jason and me to come back to the youth group to provide a good example to the new youth group arrivals. My dad's first response was a Chuck Swindoll example: "If you drop a white glove in the mud, the mud doesn't get glovey! " He was afraid that we would lose our spirituality by spending a large amount of time with new or non-Christians. However, after seeing us actually be positive examples to those around us, he allowed us to return to the youth group.

Now, as a home school, high school, youth group graduate, I look back and see that when I joined the youth group, left the youth group, and then re-joined the youth group, my parents were correct in their assessment and decision on all three occasions. So, to all you teens out there who are wrestling with your parents over this decision: sit down, present your side of the argument, and accept your parents' decision without reservation. I have to admit, I didn't ALWAYS like my parents' decision at the time; but I got over it with no major psychological scars. It has been proven many times that parental counsel, even from non-Christian parents, is usually the best advice to follow. If you accept their counsel with a cheerful spirit, God will bless you for it in the long run.

JOSH CARDEN is an 18-year-old home schooler from Texas and New Attitude's in-house humorist. This summer he was a driver for Mike Farris in Virginia. At home he works on his dad's ranch raising ostriches--yes, ostriches. We hope to have him share some ostrich stories in an upcoming issue.