Standing Your Ground

Advice on living, defending, and shaping the Christian faith

Q. I’m going on a mission trip to Russia with my church this summer, and will be going door-to-door sharing the gospel. The thought of speaking with people that I don't even know and telling them about Christ really frightens me. How can I get over the fear of witnessing?

—Angie in TX

A. Your question is asked by millions of Christians worldwide, so don't feel alone in this battle. In fact, statistics show fear is the number one reason people don't share the gospel with others. To help both you and those reading understand just how to stand your ground and overcome fear, let's recognize its source and its purpose.

In II Timothy 1:7, Paul writes to young Timothy and says, "God has not given you a spirit of fear..." Notice that the "spirit of fear" was not given by God, but another source. Secondly, notice that fear is a "spirit." These two conclusions obviously show us that fear and its affects are a strategy of the enemy used to stop Christians from sharing the truth with unbelievers.

I use this acronym to explain fear—False-Evidence-Appearing-Real. It's a smoke screen. Fear is the tool the enemy uses to distract the believer from sharing the good news. And because it is a spirit, the more we allow it to gain a stronghold in our lives, the more difficult it is to break its power over us. We find this to be the case with Peter. He denied Christ three times, each time was because of fear. Each denial brought a greater measure of fear, and a more extreme response to it. The first time he said, "I don't know this man..." The second time scriptures say that "he cursed..." and the third time "he ran and wept bitterly..." It isn't until the second chapter of Acts that we see Peter confronting his fear, and overcoming it. The result—three thousand were saved!

The difference between a Coward and a Champion is just five seconds! Both are faced with the same fear, but one overcomes the fear while the other allows the fear to overcome him. The second part of II Timothy 1:7 gives us the three keys to overcoming fear: His power, love and a sound mind.

His Power

All authority was given to Christ. He has given us those keys to overcoming darkness. If we have all authority, that leaves none for the enemy. He only can attack us in the areas we allow him to.

His Love

In I John 4:18, the Bible says, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear."  Fear is centered around ourselves while love is centered on God and others. A Christian not sharing his faith with the lost is the epitome of selfishness. Perfect love focuses on others and their needs; it is selfless. When we have a deeper revelation of Christ's heart and His love towards lost people, we will share with a genuine excitement.

A Sound Mind

Your mind is the gateway to your soul. What you allow in, is what you become. God has given us the ability to discern good from evil.

A sound mind, as described in II Timothy 1:7,  has these thoughts in mind when fear attacks.

1. God wants you to share. He has chosen you for that moment.

2. Your fear is related more to "what ifs," than it is to reality.

3. To allow fear to control your life is allowing the enemy to use you against the plans of God.

4. Turn all your attention towards God and completely away from fear.

I hope these simple yet important insights will help you to win many to Christ in the days ahead. Remember, "the righteous are as bold as a lion."

Q. I have a friend who claims to be a Christian and attends church, but doesn't bear any fruits of being a believer. She's invited me to ungodly parties, she watches evil movies like "Nightmare on Elm Street," and her words contradict each other. One minute she agrees that she's going to Heaven, but the next minute she claims she wants her ashes spread where her spirit will be happy. She's horrified of death and anything that has to do with it.

How am I supposed to witness to someone who already believes she is saved? I truly don't want to lose her friendship, but I don't want to mess up my relationship with God either. Please spread some light on my predicament.

—Melody in KS

A. The situation you are in is a difficult one and requires wisdom. It sounds like your friend fits into one of three categories:

1. She has made a confession to follow Christ and was never told how to live out her faith daily.

2. She made a decision to follow Christ and is now backslidden.

3. She has adapted the term "Christian" to the set of beliefs she embraces but doesn't live out.

Here are five things you can do in this situation:

1. Watch Yourself

Make sure that you are influencing her and that she is not influencing you in a negative way. Remember that "bad company corrupts good morals." I have seen many young Christians start out with the right intentions, but end up in the same backslidden condition. Set for yourself some very clear guidelines to live by and stay accountable to a friend or a parent.

2. Pray

Prayer is the key to turning impossible situations around. I have had many close friends who were in similar situations, which became my "Prayer Targets." I saw the effects of my fervent prayers and watched God do miracles. Pray for her daily!

3. Be an Example

Let your godly decisions and character become the conduit for conviction. One old friend once said, "Don't tell me you're a Christian, just show me..." Don't preach at her, but let the light of your godliness flush out the darkness of her sin.

4. Share Only as the Holy Spirit Leads

There are times to share and times to be silent. Don't confront her on her lifestyle in front of others, but during times when there is an openness to listen and no one around. Also remember to mix all comments with love!

5. Acceptance Over Approval

Always love her unconditionally. Regardless of the sin, Jesus was always willing to reach out and love sinners. You should love the sinner, but hate the sin. Just because you accept them unconditionally doesn't mean you have to approve of their sin.

Q. How can I share a Christian perspective on homosexuality with others? Most of my friends believe it's just a disease and won't accept biblical principles.

—Meredith in WV

A. The topic of homosexuality is one of the most explosive debates in recent history and should be handled in a delicate manner. Whenever the word "homosexuality" is used, emotions are stirred and opinions are quickly given. It is a subject where you find no neutral ground.

The main issue is the human heart. The battle is for the person, and not the "right" definition. Never remove this important equation from your discussions.

Those who say that all homosexuality is physiological, or imply that God made them that way, may be sincere in their opinion, but are sincerely wrong as well. On the contrary, much biblical, scientific and testimonial evidence seems to support the facts that it is not in God's plan for mankind to participate in this type of relationship.

Although there is not enough room to get into detail on each area, I felt it important to give you the biblical view of homosexuality. It is important to not just isolate one portion of scripture pertaining to sexual relationships, but all scriptures as a whole. The other ingredient for proper interpretation is to not just focus on what is omitted, but what is actually said. Here are a few scriptures to review.

Forbidden—Lev. 18:22; Considered an Abomination—I Kings 14:24; Punishment—Leviticus 20:13; Unclean— Romans 1:22-27, 11:42.

Here are some thoughts in sharing with a person influenced by, living in, or defending homosexual lifestyles.

1. Be armed with the truth and love, but remember it is God who must do the convincing. You don't want to win the argument and lose the person.

2. Don't directly attack homosexuality alone. Re-direct your comments to classify it with other sins such as fornication, murder or adultery. This shows them you aren't focusing on a specific sin only.

3. Emphasize that God loves them as much as He loves you. He died for all mankind and has given them the same opportunity of a life filled with love, peace and joy, as he has given to you. Portray that there is hope for change.

4. Listen a great deal, speak a little. Listening provides you with the opportunity to hear their hurts and better minister to them, as well as showing them you really care about how they feel.

5. You must change the heart before you can change the morals. Focus on sharing the gospel more than focusing on an individual sin. You will find once someone gives their life to Christ, their morals and values will change over time.