by Philip Hainline and Heidi & Marja Reimer

Last issue's "Real Man" list was a hit. Many readers wrote to thank us for printing it. "It helped me realize the kinds of things I should be working on in my life," said Jeff Baird.

Guys weren't the only ones who were appreciative. For Jennie Kay Smith it was a helpful reminder of the qualities she was looking for in a future husband. "It was a good accumulation of all the standards I had in my mind but had never taken the time to put on paper," she wrote. "It also assured me that my standards weren't too high," she continued. "Or if they were, at least I wouldn't be an old maid by myself!"

Well, just in case girls are beginning to feel smug because the boys have so much to work on, we're happy to unveil the "Real Woman" list. This should keep the girls busy for awhile, too.

Unlike the "Real Man" list, compiled by two females, the "Real Woman" list represents the teamwork of both genders. It's a combination of two separate lists—one by a guy and another by two sisters.

Although each list had a slightly different emphasis (can you guess who brought up nagging?) it was exciting how they ultimately fit together.

Remember, this list is not exhaustive. Hopefully it will be the starting point of your own biblical study of true womanhood.

We live in a day when the glorious, God-given distinctives of the sexes is constantly being blurred. The world is searching for the truth. Your obedience to God's Word can help bring clarity. So for His glory, be "real."

—Joshua Harris

A Real Woman

...Is glad she's a woman and rejoices in her feminity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing. (1 Tim. 2:9-10)

...Does not compete for equality with men or chafe at Cod's design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man's role. (1 Tim. 2:11-12, Eph. 5:22-24)

...Values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge. (Prov. 22:17-21,2:2-6)

...Realizes her imperative need to fallow the Holy Spirit to control her emotions and expressions of them. (James 1:19-20)

...Does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints, but radiates cheerfulness and joy. (Prov. 15:15, 17:22)

...Appreciates her father's protection, and respects and submits to his authority. In so doing, she is preparing herself to exercise the Biblical role in her relationship with a possible future husband. (Eph. 5:33-6:3, 1 Peter 3:1-2)

...Is trustworthy and gains the respect of those around her. (Prov. 31:11)

...Restrains herself from listening to, or participating in gossip, but instead speaks with wisdom and discretion. (Prov. 11:12-13, 22, 20:19, 3:11)

...Encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down. (1 Thess. 5:11, Eph. 4:29)

...Does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others, (judges 16:16, Prov. 21:9,19, 26:21)

...Is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Prov. 9:13, 1 Pet. 3:4)

...Portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty. (1 Peter 3:3-4, Tit. 2:4-5)

...Is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference. (1 Pet. 3:7, Mark 10:6)

...Seeks to make Cod her number one desire and the Lover of her soul knowing that only He can fully satisfy. (Ps. 73:25, Ps. 63:1)

...Uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future to Him, (Ps. 73:25, Phil. 4:11)

...Does not relate to members of the "opposite sex in a flirtatious or forward manner, but instead saves all her passion for her future husband. (Thess. 4:3-8, Prov. 6:25, 1 Cor. 7:1)

...Holds her virginity before marriage sacred and will not compromise it for anything.  (This one goes for guys, too!) (1 Tim. 5:22)

This list was compiled by Philip Hainline, age 16, and Heidi Reimer, age 19, and her sister Marja, age 17.