by Amy Christina Walsh

 

My father had served as an associate pastor and administrator at our church in Daytona for three and a half years. Now a sister church in El Paso was expressing a need for someone with the gifting to be a senior pastor. He asked each of us what we thought of the idea. My younger brother and sister were sad at the thought of leaving, but found the idea of moving exciting. When he came around to me, I couldn't answer him. I had so many emotions flowing all at once: fear, uncertainty, anger, sadness. I tried to hold it in, but he wanted an answer. I started to sob. I couldn't speak, all I could do was cry.

I was happy with my life, I didn't want anything to change. In my opinion, things were perfect. Now my dad was proposing that we leave everything behind—our close friends, family, and the church we'd grown up in. How could I face starting from scratch?

 

Leaving the Comfort Zone

At the family meeting the move was only a possibility, but as the days went by, it became evident that God was calling my father to El Paso whether I liked it or not. My mom and dad flew out to visit the church and talk with the leaders. I stayed home and prayed they would hate the area. It didn't work. When they came home, they knew the move was God's will. We were really going.

I'll never forget the day we boarded the one-way flight to El Paso. Friends took us to the airport. I took deep breaths trying to hold back the tears as I hugged them good-bye. It worked pretty well until I stepped onto the plane. Then it hit me: this would be the last time I would see any of them, for a long time. I began to cry. As the plane took off, I watched my home town became smaller and smaller.

Maybe you'll never have to make a cross-country move, but we'll all face times in our lives when the things we find security in are taken away. Perhaps you'll have to start over in a new town, church or group of friends. During these times it can be easy to fall into discontentment and selfishness. Here are some things I learned along the way that helped guide me through the ups and downs.

 

1. Focus on what you do have.

The first few months after we moved were hard. There was a painful silence. The phone wasn't ringing like it did back home. We didn't have the unexpected visits of friends or invitations to stay the night with cousins. And could I brave the mall alone without my special shopping buddy? But dwelling on these things didn't help the situation. God wanted me to be thankful for what He had given me. Though it was an ongoing process, I made a conscious decision to be thankful for the friends I was making.

At first it will be tempting to compare your present situation with the past and feel sorry for yourself. Don't give in to self-pity. A verse that helped me keep a grateful heart is found in Psalms 16:5-6. It reads, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." We won't always understand the reasons God makes certain changes in our lives, but we can choose to trust His goodness and be content with the portion He's given us.

 

2. Run to God.

In Florida I was actively involved in ballet, spending twelve hours a week at the studio. But when we moved to El Paso, classes were too expensive. I still have a love for dance, but I now believe God took dance away to reveal how little I was depending on Him. I saw that my relationship with the Lord was in disrepair. My daily communication with Jesus was almost nonexistent and very dry. To get back on track, I began to look for ways to seek Him more. For me it meant a renewed commitment to morning devotions. It also changed the way I spent my evenings. Instead of watching TV, I'd use that time to read books that encouraged my walk with the Lord.

As I took these steps, my relationship with the Lord not only grew, but I found strength for facing the changes I was going through. Instead of becoming downhearted and feeling alone, I would run to the Lord.  I gave Him all of my emotions. He replaced my feelings of emptiness and loneliness with gratefulness for everything He had blessed me with.

During a time of starting over, we are reminded that our main priority is to look to God for comfort and strength. God uses these times to draw our hearts to Him and rearrange our priorities. Even when you think you're alone and nobody cares, He's there. He's your closest friend and comforter. Don't look for anything else to replace the fulfillment that only a personal, intimate relationship with Christ can give.

 

3. Show yourself friendly.

Back in Florida I was used to knowing everyone at church. I had a close circle of friends, most of whom were home-schooled. I didn't worry about having someone to talk to or sit with on Sundays. But in Texas I was the "new kid." Even though others were friendly, they didn't know me. I felt like I was on the outside of the group.

When you face this kind of situation, you have a choice: you can either clam up and feel sorry for yourself or reach out to others in spite of your insecurity and show yourself friendly. What does this mean? For me it meant being willing to initiate conversations. Instead of waiting for people to talk to me, I looked for those who were by themselves or seemed lonely.

I also found that one of the keys to forming new relationships was placing the needs of others before my own and "forgetting myself." Even if kids were playing a game I didn't particularly enjoy, I'd get involved anyway. I usually wound up having fun in the process! It's important to keep your focus on what you can do. Instead of worrying about how others can meet your needs, find ways to meet theirs.

 

4. Appreciate your family.

One of the wonderful things God has done in my life through this move to El Paso is deepening my appreciation for my family. I'm the oldest of three kids. My brother T.J. is 16, and my sister Michelle is 14. Through the adventure of starting over, I've gotten to spend more time with them. Now my mom and my sister are my special shopping buddies. And it's not a burden to spend time with them—I value our relationship.

Friends may come and go, but your family relationships will be important for the rest of your life. Choose to be thankful for them. Stop dwelling on their faults and rejoice in their uniqueness. Don't take friendships with brothers or sisters for granted or discount them as something less valuable. God has given you to each other.

 

Disaster to Blessing

I still keep in touch with my friends from home. And while there are times when I feel homesick, I don't regret coming to El Paso. We've made many close friends and special memories. When I think of all the opportunities I have had and the friends I've made, it's hard to imagine my life without it. What I first viewed as a disaster I now view as a blessing. What a Sovereign God we serve!

Today when I hear about new church plantings or someone moving because God is leading them to a certain place, I am excited for them. I know the emotions and hardship they will experience, but I also know the great adventure in store for them. When God leads us in a new direction or through different circumstances calls us away from the familiar, He always gives us the grace we need in the situation.

 

Amy Walsh is an 18-year-old home-school senior.  She plans to attend a local university this fall.